More Random Ponderances (is that a word?)

Every once in a while I just have to post a list of random thoughts, observations and other things I ponder in hopes that someone will respond to any of those that resemble a question with an intelligent answer. Are you ready? Here goes!!

* Why is it that the category 3 men seem to be crashing all the time of late? I get wind of all the race wreck craziness and feel fortunate that I opt to race instead with the masters boys.

* Have you seen the dude dressed as the Statue of Liberty promoting a nearby tax service on Ashland? I'm talking about the guy with a full beard who's wearing a turban at the same time. Indeed.

* I missed the boat when reality TV was born. Seriously, why does anyone watch that crap?

*Call me picky (or maybe a masters degreed elitist) but seeing repeated misuse of the apostrophe and improper grammar to indicate plurality drives me apeshit.

* It fascinates me how otherwise intelligent, good-hearted friends of mine can become so terribly ugly as soon as they open their mouth and talk politics. FYI, the sky didn't fall and the seas didn't boil when the healthcare bill was passed. If you really lived up to your so-called values about loving thy brother, you'd shut your trap and see the importance of it all. What every happened to all that good will your 'god' expects you to exhibit toward your fellow man? All I see is bitterness, selfishness and especially, ignorance - deliberate ignorance in many cases.

* From my friend Anne: If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea, does that mean one enjoys it? If you have an answer, let me know and I'll pass it along.

*When you're on your bike and your ass hurts, nothing else matters.

* Attention runners and triathletes: Armwarmers are meant to be worn with a short sleeved jersey, not a sleeveless tank top or singlet. You've taken our accessory and bastardized it. Even renamed it the 'running sleeve.' Please, cease and desist. You look like an idiot.

* And furthermore, stop stop STOP wearing the knee high black compression socks. Again, you look like an idiot.

* While I'm still on the accessory subject: legwarmers....any color other than black or maybe blue is just wrong. Saw some big dude sportin' white the other night - not pretty. I won't mention patterned legwarmers (like jungle or flower motif - yikes!).

* Riding in 30mph crosswinds sucks. Period. Anyone care to argue that point?

* There are things in this world I will never understand. There are people in this world whose motivations, thoughts and actions will always escape me. While this may frustrate me from time to time it's clear that I will just never 'get' certain things/people. Carry on.

* Road construction 'furniture' doesn't ever make it's way to any so-called place for storage. It's merely moved from site to site as projects are finished and new ones are begun.

* What ever happened to the movement dedicated to removing the penny from circulation? Just wondering. I thought it was a dumb idea anyway.

* Easter = candy for breakfast. For days.

* Life is indeed too short to be unhappy but every once it a while it's almost therapeutic to be sad for a little bit. It gives you perspective you might otherwise not have if you're always happy. Just sayin.'

I suppose that's enough for now. In other errata, I'm still reading 'The Fountainhead,' it's a long book but really very good. Up next is something called 'The Bullpen Gospels' by Dirk Hayhurst (of Toronto Blue Jays fame). While it's been called one of the best baseball books ever, apparently it's also just a really good book so I'm sort of excited to start it.

Up next racing-wise is a short time trial next weekend. No, I will not be at Hillsboro the following week - got that ladies? One less wheel to watch for/suck.

Til next time....

Kenosha Velosport Training Crit #3

Why did I forego racing the two USAC crits this weekend? The first 'big' races of the ICA Cup? Lots of reasons but mainly because I have no desire to race a bike on a course designed for auto racing. That would mean it's just like a big track race, untechnical and probably pretty boring. Couple that with small, unanimated women's fields, tasty headwinds and the high probability of negative racing, I opted instead to do the third and final Kenosha Velosport Crit with the masters men. Good choice.

Weather was typical for late March in Wisco - chilly, windy, mostly cloudy with the sun trying really hard to poke through. I was again held out of the 50+ masters race (until such time that the rule is changed) while Mike, Ziggy, Victor and Richard raced. Mike was off the front early and ended up lapping the field and winning by a ton. Not sure of final places for the other guys - I believe Richard took the 55+ sprint - nicely done, boys!

I was feeling good in warm up and we had a large contingent representing for PACT/DishNetwork in the 40+ masters race - me, Dan, Mark, Mike, Victor, Richard and I think maybe Ziggy did the 40+ as well. I'm not certain how many starters there were on the line - maybe 20? Fabio and Brent Emery were on the line as well - very strong guys that need to be watched. Things rolled off nicely enough but nothing was very animated so I threw out a couple of weak little attacks to see if anyone would bite. After about the third or fourth hit, we had a break of maybe 8 guys with me, Dan, Mike, Richard, Mark and a couple others including Fabio and Brent. I again hit it (though not really hard) and found myself with Dan, dangling precariously off the front.

We worked together for a bit and were joined by Fabio and apparently another rider from the original break - and it seemed to be sticking so we continued to rotate and keep a safe distance. I'm sure that Mike, Mark and Richard were helping us back there, controlling stuff. At some point we lost our hanger-on and were about to lap the field. There was a decision to be made - do we stay behind or attempt to pass? My feeling was that I didn't want to be caught from behind so with 3 to go, we opted to go around the field. I really wasn't in a position to sprint against the likes of Fabio and Dan - I pretty much let them go to fight it out between themselves and rolled in a bit behind, taking 3rd. Mark ended up 4th and Mike 5th - a really strong showing for the Dish today!

It was great to race with the guys today and hang out a little while post-race, eating brownies and drinking some kind of cherry-flavored alcoholic concoction that Victor surely ferments/distills in his bathtub. For the record, not a good idea for me to be drinking any kind of alcohol after a race.

I started reading 'The Fountainhead' by Ayn Rand and am loving it - again, amazing stuff. The best way I can describe it is that it's as if every sentence is 'crafted' and the entire book is intricately 'connected.' Maybe you have to read it to understand.

Not sure what's up next - I have to take a look at the schedule. Maybe a time trial? Dunno - we'll see! Right now I'm feeling pretty good and the plan is to continue to train hard, rest and get stronger as we get into the race season proper. If any pictures surface from today, I'll be sure to post them.

Slapped by the Big Hand of Johnny Law

Wonderful afternoon killed at the Cook County Courthouse yesterday. The short story is we were found 'guilty' of 'willfully disobeying a crossing guard' on our bikes a few weeks ago. Nevermind that the Glencoe cop (name: Peterson) lied MULTIPLE TIMES while under oath about the happenings that day, and nevermind that we truly did not 'willfully disobey' her. The judge was immune to the lying and felt that we should have actually gone back and apologized to the crossing guard/cop when we realized that we'd honestly missed her presence. Seriously. The big black hand of Johnny Law bitchslapped us with a $195 fine and four months of supervision for our transgression.

The big beef for me here is the whole dishonesty thing - lie to me, lie about me - enormous no-no. That might be the quickest way to win yourself my disrespect. That, and making me look bad. Another huge no-no. Last but not least, don't mess with my money. Officer Peterson did all three things and for that she's achieved my eternal damnation. Hopefully Karma will come back soon to bite her in her sizable ass.

This blog post is as far as it will go, as spending any more time and energy on these pathetic happenings serves only to piss me off and deepen my mistrust and distaste for all things 'cop.' Sure, there are good, honest, hardworking police officers out there - it is a difficult job that I could never do. But seeing people in court yesterday who were inconvenienced and made to appear over things like a non-working tail light is insane. Is this truly what North Shore police officers are looking for? Cracking cyclists skulls? Pulling over teenagers with too many passengers? Writing citations for faulty headlights? Come on... As N.W.A. said it best, "F*** tha Police!'

Kenosha Velosport Training Crit #2

After a day of snow, rain and freezing coldness that saw me stay indoors pretty much all of Saturday, we rolled once again to Wisconsin for some early spring crit fun. It was snow/sleet/raining in Chicago but as we traveled north things dried out and racing was 'on,' nevermind the snow on the course. I was pretty tired after a hard week of training and a minor bug of sorts that made for some not-so-super moments during the week. That said, I wasn't feeling terrible and was decidedly optimistic about my chances for doing well. Again there was a killer headwind on the back stretch that made for quite a grind at times, just like last week.

Unfortunately I was told that a rule governing women participating in masters men's races is now going to be enforced so I was locked out of doing the 50+ race. Bummer too, Pink and Mike got away and took 1-2 at the end. Impressive performance, guys! I sat around and froze my ass for a while then jumped in with the 40+ guys. The first 30min or so was frustrating - every time someone attacked, three guys from a certain team would chase it down then sit on it, no counter, nothing. It was like racing with the women's field - ride around and wait for the sprint - negative and no fun. Finally with probably about 15-20min to go, Wayne attacked up the left on the tailwind section and got a sizable gap going into the first turn.

I was stuck on the right behind a bunch of guys who rode the brakes through the turn letting gaps open up, effectively preventing me from doing anything to bridge. That was the race, right there. I watched as five other guys jumped up the left side and made it across, while I sat there boxed in and helplessly screwed. Fortunately three of the guys in the break were Dan, Mark and Mike - all smart, strong and very competent racers. In the end Mark took the win with Dan and Mike 3rd and 4th. I ended up 7th with Richard taking 10th. Again, a strong showing for the Dish - well done, boys! I was sort of bummed - I really want to be doing 2 races at this point in the season so hopefully something with the rule can change in the near future.

Next up I suppose is the final Kenosha crit. I know there are two other options next weekend but I'm not really into the idea of doing crits on auto racing courses - boooooring and un-technical = no good for me. After that, maybe some time trials. I'm stoked about the SRM I acquired during the offseason (thanks Guz!!) that's now on my TT bike which will help with motivation, to some degree.

I just finished 'Death of a Salesman' but I haven't decided what's next. I've not visited a bookstore (in the traditional sense) for a few months. There's something to be said for browsing on the nook, selecting and dowloading a book in 20 seconds while lying in bed. Makes me giggle every time - so very cool.

Beyond that, it seems like spring is sort of here. Stepping out the door last week in short sleeves and shorts I saw the neighbors playing catch. My thought, 'I would love to do that!' For those of you who aren't aware, I was a pretty decent ballplayer before discovering the bike. So, any time someone wants to swing by and play some catch, let me know! Softball, baseball, football - whatever, so long as you don't throw like a girl :)

Kenosha Velosport Training Crit #1

Mike with Don Lowe in tow.

Just so it's clear, I do not pay to do indoor time trials on someone else's computrainer. I know the Midwest 'season' has already somewhat officially kicked off with the ABD and VQ indoor TT's but no, I will not be making a cameo appearance any time soon. The closest I'll get to that is showing up to meet my date(s) for lunch after they race and I've already ridden outdoors for at least 80mi.

Now, on to what matters. I headed North of the cheddar curtain for the first Kenosha Velosport training criterium on Sunday. Weather was pretty sucky (40ish with a 20mph headwind on the back stretch) but it sure beats the rain we rode in on Saturday. I raced with the 50+ and 40+ masters men's fields. They don't really like it when I beat them. But the women don't really like it when I race with them either, so to clear the air on the subject, I race where I will be challenged and where I have a teammate that I spend a lot of time training with. That helps a ton - we know each other's abilities well and can key off each other very nicely to take control of a race and make things happen.

In the 50+ race I covered an early attack by Jeff the Planet Bike guy and we managed to open a sizable gap. We stayed away for a long time but were eventually caught by a group of 4 that included another Planet Bike guy (Bob, owner of Planet Bike) and my teammate Mike along with Don from Mack and a hanger-on. A lap or two later I took a pull on the windy backstretch and moved over right for someone to take over - no one did and Mike attacked up the left. It was perfectly timed and only Bob was able to grab his wheel. I yelled for him to go while most of us (except for one lazy, self-proclaimed 'sprinter') settled in and worked together for a few laps before the bell was rung to indicate one to go. I attacked hard coming out of the headwind section, got a sizable gap and carried it to the line. Mike and Bob had just finished ahead of me after a bit of cat-and-mouse with Bob taking the sprint.

I wasn't loving the feel for the 40+ race but we rolled out soon after the 50+ race finished. Things broke up pretty quickly when Mike attacked and took 4 guys with him. In retrospect, I should have gone with that move but it was too late to do anything when I realized it wasn't coming back. It turned out that that group broke up further with 2 guys distancing themselves later on. When it was clear that they were away the pack slowed down to like 12mph on the backstretch. It was ridiculous. So I decided to just roll off the front and was surprised to see that I had a gap. Within a lap I was joined by my teammate Dan and Brent Emery. Yes, that Brent Emery - former US Olympian Brent Emery!! We worked together for a while and then my legs started to get pretty sucky. The guys were so nice - they let me basically sit on for the remainder of the race. Dan caught a fast wheel coming by from the break (the eventual winner) so Brent and I just rode hard to turn 3 when he accelerated away and I ended up finishing 8th. Mike took 5th, Dan was 6th. Not a bad day for PACT!

The racing was fun and I had a great time hanging out with the boys afterward. I was introduced to Culver's and ate the nastiest hamburger and fries - I was starving and almost didn't even taste it. Can't wait to do it all again next weekend (maybe....).

A shout has to go out to Scott Knoepke of PSIMET Racing. Scott got wrecked in the 3s race and is pretty sore - hang in there Scott!

Since finishing 'Atlas Shrugged' I've read 'The Turn of the Screw' by Henry James, 'Shutter Island' by Dennis Lehane and am almost done with 'Flawless' by Scott Andrew Selby and Greg Campbell. Fascinating true crime stuff.

Andy Kerr!! Are you out there????

Le Suck

For lots of reasons, I really do not like law enforcement. Imagine my contempt at being dragged down from behind on the North Shore yesterday for - wait for it - disobeying a crossing guard. WTF? The verrrrrry short story is that supposedly I and my riding companion willfully disobeyed a crossing guard and were subsequently made to wait an hour (yes, an hour - my power file proves it) in the freezing coldness while Glencoe five-oh wrote out violations. An hour. A freaking hour. We were never asked what happened nor were we offered a warm place to wait, like the back seat of the SUV that sat there idling for the duration.

The real kicker with me is that I was never asked what happened - did you see the crossing guard? No, there was a car in front of us obstructing my view not to mention that I was sitting behind 6'3" of fine humanity that was in the way as well. There were no signs in the street indicating that it was a school zone. The crossing guard was not wearing or holding any sort of bright green, yellow or orange indicator of any sort. There was no traffic control at the intersection - no stop sign, no traffic light, nothing. We were passing a car that was sitting in the right lane, going nowhere. Only after going around the car did I even see the crossing guard as she was stepping off the curb - there were no kids in the street, she used no audio or visual indication that I was to stop til she screamed, 'what's the matter with you?' How about, 'I didn't see you at 30mph and couldn't stop in ten feet or less.' Yes, there was a killer tailwind, we were doing an interval and again, there's a power file to prove it.

My big beef is that I was never treated fairly and never given the opportunity to explain that I was powerless to stop - it was an honest mistake. Had I seen her, I would have stopped - no doubt. I know that cyclists get a bad rap for behaving badly on the North Shore but in this instance we weren't willfully being disobedient. We got lumped in with the prevailing shit attitude on the North Shore about people on bikes. They wasted an hour of my time and will now waste even more of my time when I go to court where I will hopefully be given a chance to defend myself and be listened to - fairly.

So to blow off a little steam here's a happy happy playlist:

Everything in It's Right Place - Radiohead
The Day I Tried to Live - Soundgarden
Passive - A Perfect Circle
Burn - Nine Inch Nails
Cryin' Like a Bitch! - Godsmack
Don't You - Candlebox
Drift & Die - Puddle of Mudd
Rise or Fall - BRMC
Famous - Puddle of Mudd
Firestarter - The Prodigy
Landslide - Smashing Pumpkins

I finished all 4001 e-pages of 'Atlas Shrugged' this morning. Might be my most favorite book of all time. 'Shutter Island' by Dennis Lehane starts tonight - have to read it before seeing the movie.