Some bad-ass spin-heads at Union Station...you guys inspire me!! So I had a conversation with my Spinning class today. Or should I say that I had a conversation with myself in front of my Spinning class today... Either way, it was an interesting and thought provoking few minutes. I've been having lots of "what the hell am I doing here?" moments lately, both on the bike and off. It strikes me that there's a ton of bad energy and negativity circulating in the world lately and until recently, it sort of sucked me in and was making me unhappy at times. I mean really - how many times can I be cut off or nearly killed by a cab or bus while on the bike and not have some sort of antimosity brewing? But I digress.
Reviewing the content of some of my previous posts as part of the goal setting process for the 2008 racing season, it's clear to me that aside from succumbing to pressure and anxiety, I allowed a fair amount of negativity to permeate my thoughts and affect my entire existence - not just my racing. I'm sharing these thoughts because I doubt that I am alone in feeling this way, and it's not just about racing but every interaction I have, whether personal or professional.
So what - right? Well, I guess the bottom line is pretty simple. After having a lengthy discussion with my coach last week, it's clear that I need to quit focusing so much on the end result or desired outcome and think more about what happens along the way. The result I want will be there for me if I'm more focused on what needs to happen to get there - and I probably won't find myself thinking, "what the hell am I doing here?" That goes for everything - work, personal stuff, family stuff, racing stuff - everything. So next time you hear me being negative, slap me upside the head and tell me to stop and look around - getting where I want to be is happening everywhere around me, it's best that I be a part of it.
On the resolutions front....I actually resolved to curb my use of the "F-bomb," one of the most versatile words in the English language. After 3 days I'm happy to report that I have abandoned that effort. My thought? F* it. Sometimes it makes me happy to use it, so why deny myself the pleasure? God forbid - the Catholic guilt complex....
